Fel Crew ('The Unfair Advantage')

It's not our problem to solve anyway, it's Dante's. His backstory, his timeline.

But I'm sorry you feel that way.

hm. Interesting. All of what Baylan / Dante has said. I feel like I have to clarify my place, but that's more of a Dan thing than a Fel thing. I (the writer) feel crazy when I feel like I can't make myself understood. You know when you're explaining something and it just goes over heads, never actually having that 'oooooh, I get it' moment?' Well, for the sake of expediency, I rarely make really long OOC posts like Baylan's above, because if I'm online at JvS, chances are it's to make an IC post, so all of my OOC posts end up one-liners, that tend to not impart the bast possible information, instead clipping info short, or omitting what's going on in my head entirely, and then I find myself wondering later why nobody gets my meaning. It's plain to me, but when I read back, I realize I haven't been clear at ALL. My fault.

Whan I said above "I'm not really going to weigh in on this. I'm just going to write. At my pace. And if the timelines never line up properly so that you are "caught up," well then, it'll become the Tawaza Crew. I'm not going to worry about it." what I meant was that, in a lot of ways, I don't even feel like I have a legitimate right anymore to even comment on this thread, the same way I'd feel like I was thread-jacking if i popped up on Draykon's crew thread. What I meant by 'it'll become the Tawaza Crew' is that -- in my head, although I love writing Fel more than any other character, his arc is done. He is the man with no name (Mad Max / Clint Eastwood western / Snake Plissken / The Punisher...) there's only so much a person can do with that character before it all becomes a farce, or overplayed. He's never going to get the girl. He's never going to 'win.' He's never going to get rich and rule a planet. Fel is what he has been all along. The underdog. The plot with Sinistra allows me the chance to give closure to his underlying hurt, the scars he carried from his days as an Imperial. Until recently, I wasn't sure I'd ever get a chance to play that out.

I've been writing in the advancement of his disease now since Ryloth, back on 1.5. When Fel has accomplished what he needs to do for Sinistra, my loose, pie-in-the-sky plan was to make my way back to you, and instead of the disease ending his life, (by which point he's basically hanging on by stubborn force of will) he'd give his life for his crew's, getting you out of one last scrape and having the chance to say goodbye, knowing his time is up. So what I said -- if the timelines don't meet up, if the plot-lines can't mesh together, then it's no big deal. I won't get that ending. And then it'll become the Tawaza Crew.

That's what I meant, but I used criminally fewer words than I should have, and again, didn't explain myself well.

Some of what Baylan says is true. I left because we were listless, unorganized after 2.0 started up, and slow. In the past it was my job to push, to get the ball rolling with the crew. And there were times I took a lot of flak for it. So yeah, I got burned out leading, because there was a lot of push-back when I'd try to rally the troops. Earlier on today, Lor and I were messaging back and forth on FB. She wrote: "...honestly? Our problem was not slowness to start. It was too much, too big, too many. We functioned better when we all had one common goal/plot." I agree with her sentiment (which incidentally was a response to my message, lamenting that I was worried our three plots might never line up again.) The biggest problem I was having at the time I departed was that we didn't seem to have a story that was conducive to making us move forward, as a common goal. We were listless and able to write these long, introspective posts and not go anywhere or do anything that brought us together as a company, a group. I would have taken the reins and brought us together... but it wasn't my story. The 'artifact' story. For the first time, it wasn't me driving the plot forward, because someone else had brought the story to the table, we had agreed to do it, and so I felt like I had no right to say "this sucks, we're moving on." That's why I left. I didn't feel like I had the right to steer my own ship / crew / story. And I felt like nobody was interested in listening to me.

That said, some of the other things Baylan has said could potentially be true, though I have to qualify this with further explanation. Yes, if I came back, and things slowed down again to the point of molasses, I would be unhappy. But if I came back again as Captain, I would never let another slow plot-line like the Artifact plot come into being. I would steer the ship, and I would keep us moving forward. I would push, because that's the job of being the leader. I got soft, it failed. (well, it failed for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I got soft and stopped caring about rallying the troops. The fledgling 2.0 didn't help this.) Now, if Fel came back, and wasn't on death's door, I WOULD NOT LEAVE AGAIN. However, as it stands, all I want to do is die on the bridge of the UA, having had the chance to see my crew again, safe and sound. Because that's home. And Fel wants to die at home.

There are things Baylan has stated that I don't agree with. Specifically, I take issue with this: "Once we catch up to him, its basically going to be the same old story again - too slow posting for Fel, who will get frustrated with things, and cut out on his own again." Nope. If I was coming back healthy and ready to lead, I'd set the pace -- which was always fine for my crew up till the 'Artifact' SL -- because I'd take the reins, and steer the story. IF I was coming back healthy. And I wouldn't cut out on my own again. Instead, I'd cut loose that story that was slowing us down. I don't agree that posting styles and times aren't syncing up. We've always had differing styles of writing, and that's what makes this site great, that they can co-exist. Are long, nebulous introspective posts my personal style? Sometimes, but not usually. I think I know my crew well enough to say that most of the members in the Unfair Advantage aren't typically 10,000 word posters, either. I don't agree that we were epic and legendary. We are. We're just in a few pieces right now. I don't agree that the old crew is trying to hold onto something. The 'old' crew is the crew I brought together, and IC, if not OOC, it makes sense that these people who have laughed and lost together would go after Wade and Galdaart. And I don't agree that I'm an elephant in the room, as you put it. However, maybe I am unwanted. Which is how I've been feeling for a long time. Does that make me an elephant? I don't know.

Ah, well. It really doesn't matter what I think. Because as you said -- I'm not with you. Months has passed in my story, during which time Fel has done little but think of his crew. In your timeline, hours has passed, during which time (OOC) you're advocating dumping the Captain and forging a new crew. Look. I'm going to finish Galdaart's story. He'll have several missions to do for Sinitra (how many exactly I have no idea) before he might even have a hope of being 'free,' though all he wants is to protect you all, and be back with you once more. Unless Sinistra writes all of the NPC's that I'm going to be interacting with, the missions could take a while. Months, I'm guessing. And the summer is my busy time, when I typically go on tour with my summer theatre group, so my posting speed is usually slower June-August.

There's no need to time-jump, abbreviate or speed up. I never said or suggested you should. Write what you want to write. How you want to write it. I'll write my missions for Sinistra. All Galdaart wants to do is be at home, with his family when he dies. And maybe finally tell Malora how he feels (that final plot that never gets tidied up.) That's the only reason I want our plots to catch up eventually. So that I can die and finish my story arc. But it doesn't have to happen.

If you want to go your own way and make a new crew, so be it. It's ok. I'll miss the shit out of my crew (Jace, Liya, Malora, Wrench, Wade, Mack) and I'll miss writing with the collaborators that made our crew great. But if you want to go, go. If the majority agrees with Baylan, that I'll just be poison if I (or some new PC) comes back, then go! Keep writing excellent posts, keep the flame of the Non-Force Smuggler Badass alive. But if the 'old crew' wants to recapture the magic that was (and can be again) the Fel crew, then I'll be there. Maybe not as Galdaart, maybe it's a new PC who comes to join the Tawaza crew... but if you want Dan, complete with stories and villains, cliffhangers and rock-and-hard-places... he'll be there. I guess that's the choice.

Thanks, Dan, for explaining at depth. And thank you, Dante, for sharing thoughts that I'm sure most of us have been mulling over ourselves!





Before I say anything else, I'm casting my 'vote' here. Mal and I are 100% for Recapturing The Magic we seemed to have lost. That ending you're talking about, Dan, be it death on the bridge of the UA surrounded by his crew, or Fel sacrificing himself for us in some epic battle... I want that. If you think Fel's time is up, then that's how he'll go out, I don't care if I have to get in a TARDIS and bend space and time. I don't care if I have to completely time-skip half a century.

Why? Because Galdaart Fel deserves a good ending, especially in my book. You and I started this party years ago, Dan. It was Malora and Fel, us against the 'verse, the smuggler team infamous. We've racked up quite a history, been through the ringer IC and OOC time and time again, and you put together an incredible group of writers these past few years. This cannot just...drift away. It can't just end with no resolution, no closure, no send-off. You and the rest of us have worked too hard at this to just cut clean and leave. If you want to continue writing Fel, then let's do it, but if you think his time is up, then let's give him his due, and not just for his sake, but for the rest of us, too. We all need this. Malora needs this. I need it.

I don't actually think we need a change in management.  You are not unwanted, Dan.  Not at all.  We seemed to all be very happy with you and the front.  We just sort of lost our way for a while.  It happens.  
We CAN fix this.  




So. If Fel's story is over, let it be, we leave that choice in your hands. I, at least, will be there to give him that send-off you described if you decide he is done, and I will time-skip or condense to do it no matter where I am in my story.

If Fel's story is not over and you want to continue for a while, I'm all for that too. We just need to keep communication open and flowing, and work on your frustration-expressing skills. XD



Either way, I'd like Dan, please. In whatever form he chooses to appear. If Liya wants to captain, and you want to bring in a new PC after Fel, let's try it! If Liya doesn't wanna captain, well, just don't give the reins to me, I can't steer worth a damn. Just stick around, okay? As far as IC goes, if Liya does take over and we all form back up, Malora will stay with them, as long as there's still a UA crew, and as long as Jace doesn't buy any more of those kriffin' banana-beef protein bars.  

Huh.

In light of this new and very enlightening glimpse into the head of our beloved captain (as I do think he still is that to most of us, even if it's not so on the boards anymore), I'm going to cancel the fight-for-captain championships (though I was really looking forward to Wade vs Liya: Round 2).

Joking aside, I'd love it if Fel came back. And honestly, that might be the only role you'd be satisfied with, Dan. You said above that being unable to drive the crew forward is what prompted your departure, and you'd have that same drawback with any other character that isn't our captain. It would be up to others to drive most of the plots (probably whoever the new captain would be), and then we're in the boat Dante described with repeating the past (meaning that we'd probably be going at the same pace we've been going at since the artifact SL started, more or less).

Personally, I miss how it used to be. I miss having Fel in charge and each of us playing our part to keep the crew alive and flying. I miss writing with Fel and Karana and Liya and Jace and even Dante (though it's been nice not getting daggers stuck in my back...). Sometimes I hate that I left, but all this time away has given me a much better picture of who Wade is in my own head, which I'm hoping will translate to a better character in text. Regardless, I wouldn't mind one bit if Fel came back as captain, and if that's the route that gets chosen by the crew, then I may have a way to keep him alive in spite of his illness. Wade's got some pretty fantastic blood now thanks to Galen, and I wouldn't be surprised if it could at least ward off the worst effects of whatever disease Fel has. The option is there if you want it.

So that's my two creds. I miss the old days, and everything that came with them.

EDIT: I agree with Karana's entire post.

As you all may have noticed, I haven't exactly been around for a while. However, Malora told me of this ongoing discussion and asked for my input. So for what it's worth and whoever cares, these are my two cents.

Dan, If I'm still wanted around and you're looking for a comrade in mischief, I'll write with you until we've run ourselves into the dirt. Most of my other interests on this site have long since ended, and I haven't posted here in months. I can transfer other character concepts to other stories. Mack, however, is a peculiar sort, and he works best here, where he can be his madcap self most thoroughly. He's the main reason I would resume writing here. And he likes Fel, so he'd never forgive me if I passed up another chance to let them kick some ass together.

So, if y'all ain't sick of me yet, then let me survive the next two weeks (~10 papers to write by the 28th), and then I'll be roaring and ready to rock again. If that idea leaves a bad taste in anybody's mouth, then please speak your peace now.

Dante, I'm glad you said something, because I haven't been sure what to say. Everything is so much clearer now. But let me work though this, from the top.

I wasn't suggesting cutting Bespin short or changing our short term plans significantly --- I was mostly musing about what will happen after Bespin. And I was both over-thinking and under-thinking at the same time. The problems I saw earlier don't seem so big now. I didn't initially realize that Sinistra would be keeping Fel busy for months before he would have a real chance to contact us. That gives us plenty of time to write our stories.

My intention has always been to try to catch up to Fel. That doesn't mean that we would succeed, but I can't see another logical in-character course of action. If Fel doesn't want to be found, or if Sinistra wants to keep us away from her schemes, then maybe the trail will go cold, or we will be sent off to chase fake clues. Or maybe Fel will find us first, if that's what he wants to do.

I've still been holding out hope, however naive it may be, that we can all get back to a point where slowness won't be an issue. Dan/Fel has quite clearly given up on that ever happening, but I want to see what happens this summer. I've managed to find a better balance, and so has 'Lora. Dante has been here all along, and Daniel is always lurking. Jace, I assume, will be more available once school ends next month, and Karana has told me that the same is true for Mack. And while Seros has been invisible, I know from his Facebook statuses that he is temporarily working two jobs, but should be back next month some time.

I understand everything Fel has done (the disease, getting separated from us, the imprisonment, the return to Imp space, etc), and I don't blame him a bit for leaving. I saw the burnout coming, because I've been there in the past, with other characters and other groups. Parting ways into smaller groups was for the best. But I've always viewed that as a temporary situation.

But as much as that made sense on it's own, I've also been confused as heck about your true motivations, Dan. It almost seemed like you were killing Fel to spite us for being slow, or something along those lines. Add in the way you had a go at Lor on Facebook a while back, and the fact that your one-liners, as you say, didn't elaborate enough detail, and it's seemed like you had a pretty bad attitude about the whole thing and had quit caring if you offended us or not. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I hate conflict, so I waited to see what happened. And I'm sorry for that. Maybe I fell for the roommate syndrome, too.

As for closure to Fel's story, I too would feel badly if it didn't happen on the UA, among the crew. Let's try to make sure we make that happen. And I'm reassured to know that you would consider writing with us again, as a new face. Because really, it's not losing Fel that scares me. It's losing Dan, the unique voice that created Fel, that would diminish the quality of our happy little group.

I understand what Liya is saying. Dante was, in the beginning, a GBA only character. He was my fighter that got me into the final four in two separate tournaments. Now that my dueling days are behind me, I've been pleasantly thrilled to see him develop as a character - and thats thanks primarily to this writing group, and the incredible writers in this group. So, I mean, it seems settled right? We go after Fel. So...lets get crackin shall we?

For what happens after Bespin...I've literally written out everything that happens to Dante, and I just need to post it. My story arc terminates onboard the Syndicate station...if its alright with the Bespin writing crew, I would suggest that we find the artifact - in its entirety - on Bespin in a secret testing facility (the base we've been talking about). We get captured after we steal the artifact, and then we get taken to the station. I just don't see the sense dragging things out after Bespin...not at the rate that we move. I personally would still need Daniel to verify that the artifact is real, as well as to get him to convince the Imperials it is real after they get it back from us.

I suggest we take that protracted route, mentioned above, because I'm realizing more and more that the critical development I want to happen to Dante isn't really in his backstory, but shortly AFTER the events I have planned. SO, more to the point, I just needs the final events to occur already...savvy? I agree with Liya that we're too slow - and I feel the artifact arc plays a part in that. So if its all the same...shall we just skip to the good parts? I mean, it could still take months probably. Also, Liya, I'd say give jace till friday or saturday...then move on. I doubt he'd mind. He gets really busy around this time of year - I think you already know that.

Been a lot of posting... till well into the wee hours. I didn't expect that my post would elicit so much good, constructive talk. To be honest, I thought I was too far from your collective thoughts and hearts for that to happen. I am pleasantly surprised, and humbled. I checked in at 6:00 this morning, when my daughter decided it was time to wake up, and I read everything twice. I think it would be a disservice to all of you if I didn't somehow reply. Add in my thoughts to everything that has been said. In the interest of keeping the talk going, I think anything less would be reprehensible. Forgive me the number of quotes... this could get a little long. 

Going top to bottom in posting order... 

I'm happy you said you didn't know half of the things I posted. In my head, I imagined how I was feeling was clear to all. Of course, that isn't true. You see each-other IC, say a few words OOC, and you feel as if you have a handle on what's going on in the crew. That isn't so. Again and again in the following posts, echoed by everyone, it has been mentioned: poor communication. I agree. I think our communication has been lacking for quite awhile. Mine especially. I think I used to be a very good communicator, here, in 1.5, on our OOC thread... I think when feelings of not being wanted / valued surfaced, and I got a little burnt out, I withdrew from posting OOC, which resulted in very poor communication. 

As for not knowing me as well as you'd like, and thew nice things said about me as a writer / RPer... hit me up via PM or FB anytime Dante. You want to get to know me, there's plenty of time, both IC and OOC. 

That's completely up to you guys (Jace, Seros, Liya, Daniel, Dante.) As I've said, I'm going to be busy with Sinistra for a long while. At least a month, maybe more depending on how quickly I move things along. There's no real need for you to speed things along on my account, unless (as Liya states later) there is a consensus among your group that in general, you'd like to move at a faster pace. As for me saying something about the story from the start -- maybe you're right. But at the time, I didn't have a story to counter-propose, so it would have been sour grapes for me to simply say 'I don't like this story' without having another in reserve. Also, I didn't know you too well, and I didn't want to come off as holier-than-thou by crapping all over the story you entrusted to us. That would have been terribly unfair. 

...and you shall have it. A few of the ensuing posts after my 'novel' last night speculated as to the continuance of Fel, vs. his demise. I will address that in several pieces, responding to individual quotes, because I think there are several different emotions at play here. Malora, I agree and adore your entire post. But the crux of it is here, in this segment. We'll make it work out. I'm busy with Sin for awhile, you guys have things to accomplish... I think it allows time to get us back together for one big clash that will give Fel his out. Because I do want him to die. Sure, he could get a Wade transfusion. Sinistra could likely use some alchemy on him too, for that matter. But that isn't the point. It's true -- I want to give Fel a real ending. An ending befitting his station and his life. I want him to die as he lived, by his own terms, and with the chosen family that he loves. But that said -- don't speed up or rush. Post as you would, say what needs to be said, and when we're all ready, we'll do it. 

I promise you all, I will. 

I really got to thinking about this, Wade. (and can I just take a moment and say just how happy I am that you spoke up at all in this discussion! Of all the members of the crew, I was certain you were the most distant, the most removed, the most -- how to say it -- 'done.' I am glad I was wrong, on all counts it seems.) Back to the point here. See -- I'm not sure Captaincy / leadership is the only role I'd be happy with. When Fel dies, it might take me awhile to find a new character to put into this mix of personalities. And once I do make a new character, it might take equally long, if not longer, to find that person's voice. As a junior member of the crew, I, the writer, would feel far less pressure to keep things moving, because that's not who this new PC would be. Fel has that pressure, because he's the Captain. 'Character X' (newbie) would bestow far less of that pressure on me (the writer) because he wouldn't be the boss. OOC, I might contribute story or direction if asked for, but IC, I wouldn't feel the need to push. And if we slowed down for a spell, 'Character X' could quite easily sit and wait, because I (the writer) would have other characters to write. Heck, 'Character X' might not even start out as my new Main... just another Alt. But I'm just musing. Yes, you're possibly right... I might not be happy not being the Captain... but I don't think so. 

I miss you all, too. Sometime I hate that I left, too... but sometimes, perspective can only come from distance. Liya mentions it later on... I always imagined this to be a temporary disruption. 

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. All of this. I've already mentioned it, but the communication thing is key. I don't really keep tabs on anyone too much OOC... Karana on FB, and that's about it. But the rest of you -- WHAAAAAAA? Dating? How did I not know this? Cool! Congrats guys! But yes. Communicating like a normal person. Agreed. 

Kay -- this is where things get somewhat serious, as far as I can tell. Prior posts were very congratulatory and relief-ridden, but Liya's carry some real concern and weight. I'll try to speak to as much as I can... without making this post a full page long. You state that I have obviously given up on posting together at a decent pace. I don't think I ever said that, exactly. I can only base my judgments on prior experience, which has been both good (pre-'Artifact' when I felt I could push for posting speed, without sacrificing quality) and bad (mostly during 'Artifact' when I felt nobody was interested in hearing from me, we were splintered and there was dissent and fracture in the group. Not just from me.) I have never 'given up' on anything, or anyone. And as I previously mentioned, I am all for you guys carrying on at your speed, posting your SL as you see fit. When the time is right for us to come back together so that Fel can have his final adieu -- great. 

I agree with Dante, there's no reason to drag out the search for the artifact beyond Bespin. It seems kind of anti-climatic to find it right under the Imperials' noses, but that's ok.

I have a lot planned for Bespin in terms of Liya's developmemt, but we definitely need to push ahead and get there, and after Bespin and Dante's climax, we should push ahead with hunting for Fel.

We don't have to decide right now who's going to be Captain after Fel's gone. We can wait and see how that plays out.